I have seen a lot of people write on your wall and make statuses about you. I have thought about doing it several times, but I just couldn’t. I know you will never see this, but I needed to get down.
We haven’t talked in over 7 years. We weren’t close friends in high school, but we had lunch together and we shared some laughs. I always felt as an outsider in your circle, but you were never outwardly mean to me. We are facebook friends so I would see your posts and often times they made me laugh.
I was scrolling through my newsfeed when I saw two of our mutual friends had changed their profile picture to include you. I don’t know why, but my heart sank. I had a feeling something had happened. Surely enough when I went to your Facebook I saw that you had passed away. In the next few days I read the posts on your wall and thought about all the people I loved and cared about.
It has been a few days since I have found about your death and I am still thinking about it constantly. I don’t if it was because at one point I did know you fairly well or because you were my age, but your death has affected me greatly. I sincerely hope that your friends and family have ease during these hard times.
As for all my friends, if you ever wanted to reach out to an old friend, but never got the time do so please find the time. Life is short and you never know when it will end.
Tell the people you care about you love them.
Ask for forgiveness from those you have wronged.
Take advantage of every minute you have.
Hug your mom for two seconds longer than you usually would.
Hold your tongue when you are angry.
Live your life with purpose.
One of my high school acquaintances passed away yesterday.
She had been sick for a long time.
We weren’t really close, but I still saw her almost everyday of high school.
I don’t really know what else to say.
Life is short.
People who refuse to own up to what they have done -_-
People need to learn how to apologize without giving excuses.
Just say sorry.
People also need to stop forcing their views down your throat.
Most “realists” I know are really just pessimists thinking they are being realistic. They put down people around them thinking they are doing the right thing.
I also don’t like people who can’t see that others can choose a different path from them. Not everyone has to live life exactly like you.
I said it before and I will say it again. Life is all about moderation. You need to be passionate, but you can’t let your hatred blind you. You need to be cautious, but you can’t let your caution prevent you from doing anything in life.
Be confident in who you are and don’t let others bring you down.
Be willing to evaluate yourself and improve.
Hatas gonna hate. Brush your shoulders off.
Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
I would say I miss you, but I think I just miss the way you made me feel.
I love you and you mean so much to me, but man have you hurt me. I know you care about me, but I guess just not enough to show it. You can’t always just be there for me when it’s convinient for you
You are tripping me up. Look up for once and say hi. #thanks.
Sometimes I think about Mohamed Bouazizi.
It’s crazy how the actions of one man changed not just a country, but the whole world.
It does go to show you that people can only be pushed so far.
I need to sleep, but I ended up dancing around my room instead.
I havent prayed or read Quran yet.
Rawrr. I need to stop being in overdrive.
Also, I need my bffs back.
I have done this so many times before. Sent a friend a text. An email. Left a voicemail. Voicing some concern of mine. Revealing a part of me, even if it’s a bit.
"Found another leak in my apartment. :-/"
"Went to the doctor today. I gained weight. Sigh."
Looking at these texts, I try to analyze what I was hoping to achieve by sending them. Reassurance that I am indeed not fat? An offer of help?
Let’s be honest. What could my friend do or say to truly make the situation better? I myself was grasping at straws trying to articulate my feelings into a sentence. I change my mind about how I feel and why I feel what I feel 50 times a day. I stare off into space and try to figure out why a particular situation is making me so..sad.
Sometimes when I gather these thoughts I attempt to take them to a friend, to talk it out. Often my friends don’t answer their phones or chats. I don’t know if it just happens that the times I try to reach out to my friends are times they are busy. Maybe it’s a sign from God telling me to rely on Him and myself.
There is this verse:
[Yusufali 67:14] Should He not know,- He that created? and He is the One that understands the finest mysteries (and) is well-acquainted (with them).
I need to remind myself of this verse when things get rough. He created me. He knows just how much my heart aches. He knows what caused this heartache. He knows all the thoughts that are running through my mind. I don’t have to worry about any misunderstandings. He has the answer.
I am not saying that people are useless and that I should never rely on them. I just need to focus on myself and God first. Once those relationships are strong, I can start branching out. It’s like building a house. What’s the use of a security system or a fence if you don’t have a strong foundation and house?
If we are being honest the lack of support I get from some friends makes me sad. People I have know for shorter periods of time are better to me.